9 Jamie Smith Kirpal Ashram 31st December 1980 |
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I have arrived at Old Delhi railway station by night
train from Dehra Dun. It’s 6.30 a.m. Everyone is fighting for a porter,
then for a taxi or auto-rickshaw. I get into one of the latter, a species peculiar
to the East. This three-wheel contraption skids, and hoots, and thrusts its
way unafraid, through bullock-carts, huge trucks and buses already pounding
the overcrowded Old Delhi thoroughfares. The fumes are monstrous, the noise
monstrous. I hold on to my luggage. Am I going to spend the next few months
like this? As I nearly fall out of the contraption — an over-loaded bus has run us off the road — I pray to my guru: Need I go through all this — need I be the channel for this book? I am comforted by the thought of my own guru’s selfless prayer to his guru, the noblest of prayers: Should any good ever come out of me, let me not know anything about it. I dust myself down, breath deeply, nod to the shaken driver; we smile sheepishly, we plod on.
Yes, yes — I am being told — there’s
a room for you. The Ashram is a quiet, unpretentious haven named after Sant
Kirpal Singh, who is my own beloved Sat
Guru and where my wife and I lived in bliss until he left his earthly body
six years ago. On the passing of Hazur in 1948, after spending 6 months in retreat in Rishikesh, Kirpal Singh settled in Delhi where he started his Mission – Ruhani Satsang, The Path of The Masters – pouring out his loving teachings through regular discourses and initiations. By 1955 his fame had grown, and with so many new Centres having sprung up especially in the West, he set off on the first of his 3 world tours. Two years later he was elected President of the World Fellowship of Religions, a role close to his heart as his teachings reflect his deep-rooted faith in the unity of all religions: he never tired of pointing out that they all embrace a common mystic centre. He travelled ceaselessly and gave discourses and initiation to tens of thousands, pouring out such loving concern for each of his followers that it penetrated the innermost depths of the soul. He wrote many books, but in his collected more intimate question-and-answer periods he dealt ever-patiently with the day-to-day problems facing his devotees. His whole life exemplified the noblest ideals of mankind: love of and service to all creation, and the attainment of self-knowledge and God-realization. Right up to his last days, although weak in body, with passionate vigour he delivered his message, every word becoming a poetic call for spiritual awakening. He died in his 80th year in 1974. His Mission is now carried on by his son and spiritual successor, the noble self-effacing Sant Darshan Singh, who is a poet-mystic steeped in the Sufi tradition although still very much a Sikh.
There are only two Westerners living in the Ashram on a permanent basis although the Mission has a world-wide following. I have come to see them, but they are busy and elusive and it will take time and patience to get them face to face with the microphone. But they have agreed to the Interviews. So I am now off to New Delhi to get a travel agent to make train reservations for the long journeys that lie ahead. In the evening Jamie is free — Martha is far too busy — so he wants to start. I have long admired his quiet, withdrawn manner which almost hides his dry sense of humour. He and Martha often stay up all night doing urgent Ashram work. They are both rare examples of committed, selfless sevadars.
Interview 9 Jamie, I haven’t seen you for some time,
but I remember coming to your marriage a few years ago… It was so long ago? Would
you like to start this Interview by telling me something about your early life
and how you came to this new one? Thinking of my childhood brings back the memory of experiences I had which were of a spiritual nature. They weren’t unique but they were profound. I was born Christian, sang in the church choir, but never totally accepted the church; there seemed to be so much more to be revealed. It provided a forum for prayer and worship, but not for realization. As an institution there is a disparity between what is taught and what is practiced. At 16 or 17 the crossroads in my life became more and more distinct. The values inherent in the process of growing up: getting a good job, living comfortably in pretty houses didn’t win a solid place in my mind. Such a life was a journey with no meaning, no goal, short-lived. On graduation from high school I entered college in Vermont. This institution didn’t cherish traditions; there was a spirit of questioning values usually taken for granted. I found fellow students interested in a variety of spiritual disciplines, vegetarianism, health foods. I became a vegetarian, practiced hatha yoga, but was aware of searching for something profound, something I had had intimations of throughout my childhood. I was becoming a member, whether I knew it or not, of a growing movement interested in spiritual awakening. It was exciting going to New York City to hear some Swami talk on higher consciousness, or listen to Dr. Richard Alpert who had transformed himself into Baba Ram Dass, or imbibe the teachings of a Zen Buddhist monk. Exciting, yes, but I couldn’t commit myself to any of it. What to do? I left college after that first semester, my intention being to have a short leave to pursue an inner sabbatical. I withdrew from life’s mainstream to the sea-side to contemplate the nagging questions of life-death, and so on. The caravan of life proceeds so rapidly there’s no time to gaze at the landmarks as they pass or to seriously consider the goal of the journey. This was a time to gain distance between ourselves and the ephemeral world and our identification with machines and superficial pleasures so as to get concerned with more lasting values. I got a job, lived alone, meditated and practiced hatha yoga. Nights were passed swithout sleep simply observing my thoughts. Days were passed without meeting anyone, without outer communication. They were interesting experiments using my own self as the laboratory. The results were startling. If the mind could be stilled as well as the body, would the inner force come to the surface? What is that inner force, what animates it, how does it relate to the outside world? What remains of it after death? These seemed to me the most pressing questions and yet strangely neglected. A painful gulf developed around me and those with whom I had grown up; I found it impossible to share or articulate my experiences. So much had to be rejected, so much became unexplainable. On returning to my college, I came in contact indirectly — he wasn’t physically present — with my guru-to-be. A friend had found his spiritual teacher and was convinced he was a perfect saint. This saint, Kirpal Singh, lived in Delhi. My friend took me to a nearby Ashram managed by Kirpal Singh followers. Sense of time came to a halt, only the shades of day and night told their tale. I was uplifted. My meditations were regular but I had no idea of what was transpiring. I needed a guide, someone who had the highest experiences and who could lead me to the goal. I thought of Kirpal Singh; a surge of confidence drew me into the arena of his love and grace. In February 1971 I received initiation from Sant Kirpal Singh. From that point onwards there were many changes in my life. My soul rose above body-consciousness and experienced God, or whatever you choose to call that power, in the form of inner light and sound, and I was able to see vistas in the realms beyond. The Master had the power to uplift the soul, and he being one with God, could give such inner experiences from any distance. He was in India physically at the time of the initiation; I had been accepted by direct correspondence. Sant Kirpal Singh’s books point again and again to a unifying thread which links all faiths and teachings — it was the thread of spiritual awakening. To become his follower it was not necessary to renounce my religion. Instead he showed me how to become a better Christian. Would you say something
about the conditions attached to taking initiation? And the reasons for these
conditions are? The strength and well-being of the body lies in chastity; the life fluid, indiscriminately spent in sex, reduces the strength of mind and body, weakening the foundation for spiritual discipline. To be able to control the attention and direct it within during meditation for hours at a time is no small feat. For this a chaste life is absolutely necessary. We all know that alcohol dulls the consciousness and the taking of drugs deadens the spirit. No fees are paid for
this initiation, are there? As you were only 19 when
you took this initiation, how did it affect your life? You hadn’t even
met him physically? Were there any difficulties?
Can you say? When did you meet Sant
Kirpal Singh? Many of his followers from all over the country were waiting for him when he reached Dulles airport; it was an emotionally surcharged moment. He stepped through the doors, walked down the corridor, and I saw a man bigger than life, full of grace in his movements casting rays of love about him. How could I have expected more? But in the evening at the Vienna Virginia Community Centre as we all settled down to listen to his talk, it was here that he gave my soul that boost which fulfilled all my pre-conceptions. I followed the Master on his three-month tour in the States, and I witnessed many thousands also receive a spiritual boost, something no one can get from books, however learned, however spiritual. So when did you first
think about coming to India? In those days did you
ever see yourself living in India permanently? In a few days I was able to return to the Ashram, but in such a weak condition, I decided to fly home — it would be better. As I said good-bye to the Master, all the pain — the memory of it even — vanished; I was thanking him for his love, a thankfulness which welled up within me spontaneously. At that moment I could never have believed I would never see him again physically. A few months later he left this world. He was not confined to a body during his life — I consoled myself — why should it matter now? Our relationship would continue. How did you come to accept
Sant
Kirpal Singh’s spiritual successor, Master Darshan? I remember the first time I went to see him, my immediate impression as I climbed the staircase of a rather dark apartment complex was: How can a saint live in a place like this? It seemed so utterly normal to the point of being prosaic. It was my own pre-conceptions once again coming to the fore. When he came out, I saw so much in his face — I saw my own Master: I saw the Light of God emanating from him in such effulgence, his image was no longer visible — he had become all Light! But more than that, I met someone I knew could lead me to my own Master and who at the same time could relate to little me with my day to day problems. I suppose it is the combination of God working through man which swept me off my feet and fired the desire to be with Sant Darshan Singh. On that visit I was on vacation and I didn’t want to lose my job, but at the end of my three weeks, I just could not go back. It was too beautiful, too special in those very early days waiting for the new Master to get back from his office; we crowded his small room, but he was so patient, so kind and we were lost in his brilliance. I contacted my employers: I was given three more months — there was a recession in the building trade! It was during this extended stay that Martha and I married — you were there. During the Christian service, Sant Darshan Singh gave us one of his intimate talks, half poetry, half practical common-sense instruction. Except for a brief visit to the States we have been living at his feet ever since. We started compiling a pictorial biography on the life of Sant Kirpal Singh which is now almost finished .(1) Your seva
keeps you both very busy — Martha still can’t get away from her
work with Master Darshan. How did you manage to get visa
extensions? Can you say something
about life in the Ashram? Did you find it hard
to adapt to the Indian way of life and culture? Have you studied Hindi? I see you have placed
service very highly. Do you have any other aim?
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© Malcolm Tillis 2006 |